The tide has just subsided and the coral formation that was not visible from where I was standing moments ago, are now slowly coming into view as the sky displays its magnificent pink into the horizon. It’s such a picture perfect sunset. It makes me think about my all-time favorite song PINK LIFE, for it somehow inspires me to think that my life has been such a miracle the last couple of months and now my faith is again tested as I start to think what my purpose in life really is and what is it that I am bound to really do. Just like these corals that are ever so shyly coming into view as the day retires, I hope that the corals of my life will soon show themselves to me as my short retreat is about to come to an end and tomorrow, I face another day, with my questions still left unanswered.
What do I want to do? What do I want to be? What do I want to become? These questions are usually popular among young kids in school and are more often than not asked by their teachers to make these hyper kids pause for a while in an attempt to make them contemplate on how they want to see themselves when they grow up. These questions are even given as homework to young students who are then required to produce an essay or some artistic drawing out of it. Popular answers would be that of a doctor, teacher, nurse, pilot, astronomer and scientist. Maybe these days, the list of things children want to be when they grow up could be altogether different. Perhaps most of them would want to be superstars or superheroes considering the proliferation of reality TV shows and superhero movies.
Anyway, my point is, questions such as these are NORMAL subjects among kids. But when asked by 30+ year old adults, it’s something else. Could it be another symptom of late quarter life crisis? Whatever it is, it surely is a dilemma and no laughing matter albeit its sounding pathetic and absurd, especially these days when the largest economy in the world is experiencing what could be termed as another major depression. Shouldn’t I be very concerned? The practical side of my brain is telling me that this is definitely not the right time to be selfish and to think only of what I want. I should just be concerned about making money and saving money as long as I can. But is that all there is to it…money? What about life? What about living? What about feeding one’s soul and being happy? I am back to where I started and this is not a good thing…
(more…)
Are you one of those people who are thinking about that job you let go while at the same time contemplating on getting it back? Do you feel like there seems to be no other option for you and are on the verge of accepting that you are probably meant to be miserable for the rest of your life? Don’t give up just yet. Life is one big classroom and the things you experience at different points in your life are your lessons. The moment you learn from a particular experience, mature form it and become a better person because of it, you move on to the next chapter. Otherwise, you will never graduate to the next level and it will always haunt you in one form or another. Life never runs out of lessons! Life is always full of them.
The Philippines is a music-loving country. We have composers and singers who have brought honors to our country by winning in international competitions. It has contributed financially (and still does so) to our presently struggling music industry if properly encouraged and supported by the government with appropriate legislation against anti-piracy.
The music industry in our country used to be a P2 billion thriving industry before music piracy sabotaged it to near collapse beginning in the year 2000. Aside from bringing pride to our country through our numerous talented singers and composers, this industry also has contributed economically by providing thousands of jobs within the record companies (such as promo girls, sales girls, delivery boys, and drivers as well as in allied industries like record bars, radio and TV stations, recording studios, concert venues, production staffs, costume providers, printing companies, disco and video bars, etc.), given financial support to government by way of paying millions of pesos in various taxes., brought joy to the buying public and masses, provided various and numerous opportunities in the field of music through the discovery of our many talented singers, musicians, and composers.
This stage is termed by Erikson as the middle school age. And true enough, most, if not all of my memorable experiences here have something to do with school. In general, I remember that I was a very diligent and intelligent student. Yearly, from prep to grade six, I received recognition for my academic excellence and active extra-curricular service and participation. I went up the stage to talk, sing, dance, recite poems & speeches, host, declaim, etc. I was also one of the best kickball players and runners. St. Scholastica has helped developed all aspects of my personhood. I was always an active student and officer in my class and in various clubs. To wit: In Grade 2, I was the Class President and I received an academic award with honors; In Grade 3, I was the Art Club President, I received a “Best Club Member” certificate and I received an academic award with high honors; In Grade 4, I was the Sewing Club President, I received a “Best Club Member” certificate and I received an academic award with high honors; In Grade 5, I was the Class Vice-President and I received an academic award with honors; In Grade 6, I was a Barangayette Grade Level Representative and I graduated with high honors. So to speak, my academic life was really good during my elementary years. I developed industry more than inferiority. I developed certain skills in writing, reading, speaking, drawing, craft-making, sewing, playing kickball and relays, etc. I am very glad about these things because I know that they have laid my foundation for having good study habits, proper time management and motivation for excellence.
(more…)
At this point in my life, I was already starting my early school years. I had my nursery and kindergarten at St. Matthew’s Academy, which is a private, co-ed school and my preparatory year at St. Scholastica which is a private exclusive school for girls. I remember during my kindergarten year, my classmates and I already had a sense of malice in us. We often teased our boy and girl classmates and pretend like we are conducting a wedding for them. I knew I had a crush on the “groom” but I went ahead with the flow thinking that I don’t want to mess things up between the “couple” in our class. I think this behavior of mine falls under Erikson’s developmental task of early moral development and group play. And it feels quite rewarding on my part that even at that young age, I already had some sense of values. I do believe that I carried this with me until my teen years and beyond, because if not, I would have been impregnated long before or at least lost my virginity to my ex-boyfriend back in high school. And even now that I have my long standing boyfriend, had I not developed my morality during those formative years, I would have been in a much different place right now.
(more…)
At about two to four years old, I was already engaging in different developmental tasks described by Erikson as the following: a.) elaboration of locomotion – as evidenced by the fact that I can already walk, run and play; b.) fantasy play – as evidenced by my being able to play with my toys be it a doll, a stuffed toy or a mini bike; c.) language development – I remember my parents telling me that I can’t seem to pronounce one of my Aunt’s name “Aunt Mary Jane” which led to my calling her Jeh instead, which eventually became her nickname. Until now, all of us, including my brother and sister, call her Jeh; d.) self control – little by little, I learned to defecate using the toilet rather than some place else. But I vividly remember that it was hard for me. There were times when I would just remove my bowels in my room or on the kitchen floor. I was such a messy kid. But I don’t recall any violent reaction from my parents. Either they were too lax or I have repressed the possibility that there were some violent reactions from them. I believe that repression is the stronger possibility in this instance. This is because I have an anal retentive attitude that can explain my OC tendencies / obsessive-compulsive nature. As such, I can’t study when I see a single dirt in my room, I can’t leave for school unless my room is thoroughly clean and made up; I always give in to my urge of cleaning which eats up a lot of my study time; I always wash my hands when I have touched something which I perceive to be dirty even when it’s really not; I keep on checking my wallet and keys all the time; I keep on checking my skin for blemishes, whiteheads and pimples; etc.
(more…)
On February 14, 1988, I was born into this world. I am the first born in our family. Consequently, I am the first granddaughter, first niece, first in everything. Naturally, I became everyone’s favorite and center of attention. I was always on the limelight, but not for long. I had a baby brother when I was two. And according to my parents’ accounts (since I can’t remember everything that has happened when I was still very young as a proof to Freud’s theory of childhood amnesia), I was so jealous of the new baby that the moment they went home from the hospital with my newborn brother, I threw a tantrum telling them to bring back the baby to the hospital or else I won’t let them in. I was two years and seven months old then and a selfish little brat at that. Now that I think about it, could this experience brought about my craving for always being the center of attention? I have this theory in mind that since I did not linger long enough in the limelight of my parents and relatives, this could be why I have always craved for attention and affection (being the leader in numerous school organizations, lead actor in lays, winning contests and quiz bees, falling for the next guy who is in close proximity and gives me the attention that I need, etc.). I think this theory of mine explains a little part of who I am today which means that Freud was really conveying some substance to his readers and followers when he said that our present problems and complexities can be traced back to our childhood traumatic experiences.
(more…)
Everyone wants to write a book. I’m not sure if it’s for the money, the fame or both. Or perhaps, there’s just a subconscious desire for each and every one of us to get noticed somehow… to be heard and be able to make a difference in our own little, inconspicuous ways. I know I do. It’s just that I never took up journalism. But I do have a penchant for writing. And so do many people I know. These days, you don’t have to have a degree in communication to write a book. You just have to have certain connections in the publishing industry or better yet, be someone famous! And voila! People would seem to want to buy your book. I’m neither of those things. But I do have dreams. And I’m making them real now.
Let me share with you first who I am. And in the course of reading it, if in case you get bored out of your wits, you can throw this book for all I care. But if I do catch your attention somehow, then that’s a big enough accomplishment for me. I’m telling you though — I’m not rich, nor famous, nor do I know anyone in this industry. So it’s a risk you’re taking if you buy and read my book. That’s a BIG IF and I thank you in advance. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.
(more…)
| M | T | W | T | F | S | S |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| « Feb | ||||||
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | ||
| 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 |
| 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 |
| 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 |
| 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | |||
I am a writer. I am a dreamer. And more...
For more info about me, do check out my other personal blogs:
